The Third Party

Dealing in a “Third Party” situation can be detrimental to a positive outcome. I, didn’t quite understand it at first but hey, I’ve got it now.
To understand “Third Party,” is to know it doesn’t always mean to physically cheat. It can mean to try and sneak away from something. To cheat the death of a situation by being unwilling to address the situation. Everyone knows, you cannot cheat death, it’s inevitable.
From where I sit, it’s all about the energies, habits and mindsets that exist. There are major players involved but it’s more about the energy and the souls. To explain, there are different types of Karmic situations all in different phases. Each soul learning from the other but of course, one may not realize they are learning or better yet not willing to learn. Some souls are open to change while others choose to remain the same.
I came across a soul that has the most amazing gifts. Their gifts are so deep and profound, kind of eerie even. This took me through some hard realizations but definitely worth the lessons learned. How might you ask does this make sense? Well it kind of works like this.
Two souls find one another in the midst of their own personal turmoil. Neither one of them had intentions on coming together. Both going through major life changes trying to find themselves and working on releasing negative ties that bind, “Third Parties.” Those souls intertwine and something unlocks which opens up a flood of unexpected emotions that were once buried and hidden from the world. It feels good, it’s refreshing, it’s fiery, it’s passionate, and it’s fast and even addictive. So what’s so wrong with that!?! Everything imaginable, it’s faulty, it’s not stable, there’s room for error and it’s going to crumble.
The fact is there is unfinished business that has yet to be addressed. It can’t be ignored nor will it just go away. There are other soul ties and negative energies that must be released. There are deep wounds of the past that must be dealt with and healed. There are addictions, to what degree no one truly knows but must be controlled.
The soul has to be willing to face what is uncomfortable in order to receive what the universe has to offer. This is what is known as, “The dark night of the soul,” those secrets that have never been told. The soul is willing to go down a “Rabbit Hole.” Releasing that thing that feels so right, no longer holding on so tight. Now this doesn’t mean those souls will come back together. It just means that they see what could be and decide to put in the work for the betterment of their life.
Whatever that looks like for your situation, you fill in the blank. Either way it’s sliced, the “Third Parties” have to go. Imagine yourself in the “Matrix.” Do you take the BLUE PILL or the RED PILL? One will leave you just as you are and the other will open up a world that you have never seen or could ever imagine. I can’t tell you which to choose, as for me, I chose the RED PILL.

What is Love?

There is a passage in the bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 ESV that speaks on the real meaning of love. We all have our own definitions but the fact of the matter is Love takes on all forms but I choose to stand on what is written in the bible.

Of course there are a few different types of love which are as follows: Eros (Erotic Love, named after the Greek god of love and fertility.) Philia (Affectionate Love, to show affection for someone friend or family.) Storge (Familiar Love, something that feels familiar to you and someone else.) Ludus (Playful Love, having fun with someone, hanging out enjoying each other’s time.) Mania (Obsessive Love, constantly obsessing over something or someone. Not really love but the illusion of love.) Pragma (Enduring Love, a love that never grows old no matter how far apart you are from someone.) Philautia (Self Love, something we all need in order to even understand what love means.) Agape (Selfless Love, giving of one’s self or thinking of others and not always putting yourself before another.)

With these different types of love, which ones do you possess? I am sure at times we have all had a go with at least 4 out of the 8 if not all. I know for me, I can be honest and say I have experienced them all. The ones that I choose to possess in my life are Eros, Philia, Ludus, Pragma, Philautia, and Agape. I choose these because although I am not perfect, I try and think on the lines of “What would Jesus do?” No one will ever fill His shoes but they can sure work at trying. No greater selfless love was when He was willing to sacrifice His life for mine. He loved those that didn’t love Him back. He healed, mended, and even spoke to those that most of us would leave on the side of the curb just by the way they looked. As for Eros, well that should be self explanatory, not to mention, there are different types of Erotism.

I am learning that in dealing with relationships, not all of them are meant to be in your life for a lifetime but in it for a season. Yes, we’ve heard this before but it is a really true statement. Those that come by for a season are to teach us lessons. In this passage I’m speaking strictly on love. Those that stop by for a season are merely meant to teach us a lesson and then move on to the next. Or if we missed the lesson, then they will surely continue to stop by until we have learned the lesson.

I am currently on Philautia Love (Self Love) and Agape Love (Selfless Love), knowing when to turn all that love on self and be selfish with myself. Understanding that there is nothing wrong with taking time for one’s self and not owing any explanation to anyone. If there is a need for explanation then it shall be given otherwise, it is just my time. In giving selfless love, I am learning when to not push but be patient and understanding. It is not easy to give Agape Love simply because we have to learn when to back away. Yes, in my opinion, Philautia and Agape can become intertwined. Knowing when to let go for your own sake and happiness but also being able to see past yourself to truly see someone else. We never know what a person is going through and to really see that, we have to remove what we may want from that person to see that maybe they are not ready to give it’s called understanding.

Many may not agree with me but that is quite alright because there is such a thing as “Agreeing to Disagree.” My life has been nothing but lessons and retakes and that is quite alright with me. I have never been too proud of learning and receiving correction. For as long as I am on this earth, I will continue to learn and share my lessons. There is always someone out there that needs a message. My job is to give the message and plant the seed.

Be gentle with yourselves and watch how others become gentle with you. Love can be amazing in any form you receive or give. Blessings and Love.

 

Don’t Hold Back

Why do you hold back? Why do you fight what feels so right? Why are you trying to push away the very thing you say you want?

Time is never given to any man only opportunities and chance. Ever heard of taking a leap of faith? Or better yet the little phrase kids used to say, “If you jump, I’ll jump.”

Matters of the heart should never be so complexed or filled with doubt and fear. Whatever happened to living in the moment and allowing fate and nature do the rest?

Now a days people have become so cold and walled up almost fridged that they miss what’s literally staring them right in the eyes. Oh won’t you please just open your heart once again and feel the warmth of the sun on the inside?

Allow the rain to kiss and wash away all that fear that lies within. Sometimes things do seem, “to good to be true.” One thing is for sure, when two matching souls are intertwined, there’s no way to deny the passion and fire that ignites inside.

The more you try to put that flame out, the bigger and hotter it becomes. Recognize what you truly deserve and should receive. Everything you’ve ever wanted is slowly finding its way in. Don’t fight against the currents, instead enjoy and ride the wave.

Your life is getting ready to change in more ways than one. This a journey but one you will never regret. Make memories after memories until the end of time.

The Focus Was On You

The focus was on you, I put a lot of effort on you even when I wasn’t quite finished with the last. I reacted to the actions shown by you and dove head first into a situation that wasn’t clear. I understand now what it truly means to go slow and let things happen naturally. Fighting against my own convictions and not willing to see the restrictions, I still put my focus on you.

No, there were no “Red Flags” but there were a few “Yield Signs.” Destiny is calling but the question is, will we heed the call or fight against that too? Wanting something so bad and knowing its right in front of you yet, it still seems so far away. At times it felt as if it was slowly slipping away. Then all of a sudden, the tower comes and throws everyone out!

The feeling of loss because someone gave up simply because things weren’t moving fast enough. The very one saying, “Things take time” is the very one who runs away leaving the other in a daze. Who will let their guard down first? Who will decide to communicate first? Who will open up and decide it’s either now or never? All those questions but yet no one is moving.

An opportunity for what two people truly desire may just slip right through the cracks. So much focus put on you and the return was to say, “I’m not looking or focused on a relationship right now.” Or, “I will explain it all later, then you will understand.” Question is, why were the actions there that said different? If you weren’t ready, then why allow yourself to move in the direction that said you were?

My attention and focus was moved from “Me” to an “Us” instantly. Now there is silence a deafening silence and void. Not sure if this is something really worth fighting for anymore. Not wanting to deal with anyone or even want to return simply because it doesn’t feel good to be burned.

The focus is no longer on you anymore, the focus is back on “Me.” Choosing to remain strong and focus on my independence is what I want and desire. Can’t wait around for indecisive situations. I’m after building a firm foundation. My door is always open and my company is always light. But my FOCUS remains on “Me” and what I feel is right.

Finding Your Own Inner Strength

It’s easy to give sound advice to others. It’s also easy to be a positive energy to someone going through a storm. But what happens when it’s you going through the storm? The very messages that you find yourself giving to others are the exact same messages you can’t seem to hear. No, it’s not that you don’t believe what you are saying, it’s simply that you are blocked.

You are so focused on all the things that could go wrong until you are literally drowning in despair. So how do you find the “Life Jacket?” You focus on what makes you happy. You remember where you are and how far you’ve come in your journey. You begin looking at things from a more practical way. Practical doesn’t mean that you no longer feel or connect with your emotions. It just means that you are putting them in check in order to see things clearly.

You will find that when you’ve found the balance, things start to fall into place. Over thinking begins to disappear and your focus is taking care of you. Those things that once brought about heavy burdens and stress no longer matter. You start cutting away at those people and things that no longer serve you. You learn that you do have power to overcome fears and anxiety. You no longer feel bound or confined and you start to learn yourself. You start to realize the power within you and remember that you hold the keys to your own happiness and success.

Depending on your beliefs, you finally recognize you’ve been guided all along by a Higher Power or Being.

I THOUGHT I WANTED A LOVER

I thought I wanted a Lover, someone who would fulfill the needs that my spouse didn’t, wouldn’t meet. I had it all worked out in my mind of how it would play out and in my mind, it all seemed just fine. One thing I never expected or even planned was for me to fall in love with my Lover. This thing was supposed to be a “Friends with Benefits,” he was only meant to be used for those nights when I wanted sex or just a warm body to be near me. Maybe a phone call or dirty, flirtatious text. What I got in return was something more sweeter and actually very genuine.

Someone once told me that there are three ingredients to a relationship. 1. Communication, 2. Stability and 3. Sex, the most important ingredient of all. I have pondered that for a while now and have come to the conclusion that it’s very possible to have all three. The key in getting them all is having the right person in your life. I believe that we’ve all been taught that there is obvious give and take in a relationship. But what happens when we decide it’s ok to give up one of the three ingredients? IT’S CALLED SETTLING AND CONFORMING! No one should settle or conform or better yet, alter their standards. I only had one of the three and so I made the decision to get the other two from somewhere else. Selfish I know but hey, who’s getting hurt? Something I grew up being told and actually witnessed.

I had my eyes on a certain person. He is definitely the ultimate “Eye Candy” did I mention he was single!?! Now, I knew there was something very different about him which intrigued me all the more. So I made up in my mind that he was the one I wanted. Yes, I loved my spouse at least so I thought but my spouse could really only offer me one out of the three ingredients, stability. I know, most would probably say, “And then why in the hell are you still there?” That’s easy, although selfish as it seems, I had to make sure my financial needs were met. I never considered whether or not my Lover could even meet that feet at the time and let’s just be honest, I had no intentions on anything other than just a good time. All I knew is that I NEEDED communication and sex.

I made my decision to go after my kill. I charmed him with my smile and my playful banter. Every chance I had, I would arouse him with my scent and sensuality. My eyes have always been the center of my attraction so I would occasionally throw out a questionable look that makes one go, “Hhhmm?” To finish off my prey, I would lightly and accidental like brush up against him. My Lover was now quite aware that it was ok for him to approach me when he was ready. This happened the same day with no hesitation. See, my prey isn’t easy. I usually pick the ones that are hard to get and those are the ones that I watch and calculate when it is the right time to make my move.

After I knew I had his attention, I told him that I would need his contact information in case of an emergency. By that I’m sure it’s assumed, he is around me a lot. He obliged and let me know that I could call on him anytime. I read that as, “You can call me even if it’s not an emergency.” We started getting acquainted; it was quite nice and natural. I would find him coming around more frequently. Always a “Good Morning” or a “You look beautiful today.” He was wooing me and I enjoyed it, so much so I started stepping up my appearance. Now I’ve never been too hard on the eyes but I started feeling more alive. Who in the world would have thought me, the Prowess would fall hard!?! One small and detrimental flaw, I am still married and I had no intentions of leaving or giving up my stability.

The tables have turned, I am now weak and he has caught on to my horrible game. He starts pulling away and I am left fighting and begging him to stay. Making empty promises all for what I thought I wanted which was a “Lover.” The realization hits me, it actually consumes me! I don’t want a “Lover!” So many things start to plague me in fact they are haunting  me in my dreams. I am lost, alone, unhappy, miserable and scared. My first true admission was the person staring at me in the mirror, “ME.” The dark side of me had consumed what was once full of light. How was I ever going to find that person again? Another truth set in one that most choose not to speak on but for me, it was now time to face my reality.